Saying Farewell to a Hopeful Month

I’m not very open about the plans I have made on moving forward after my loss but feel it’s a great way to share my story, or even just document it, by making these posts.
While I haven’t had a lot of time to make any posts recently I decided today would be a great day to get back on track after my doctors appointment.

Much to my surprise, my feelings or emotions were not toyed with as much as I had originally thought.
I began a treatment plan 2 months ago to try and get pregnant again with a Reproductive Endocrinologist.
The first month was the tester month to see how I reacted to Clomid (which is what I used when I got pregnant with my daughter) and Ovidrel (trigger shot, makes you ovulate).

My RE requires you to have a baseline ultrasound on day 1 of your cycle and will then determine if you can move forward with taking Clomid. If you’re good to go, they will advise you to take it days 3 to 7 or 5 to 9 of your cycle. Then they have you come back around day 12 to 14 of your cycle to check if you have any mature follicles. From that scan they then determine when you should use your trigger shot and then advise you to wait 15 days before taking a urine pregnancy test. At that point you either call them with the results if your luckily pregnant or your period would have started and you call back to start the lovely process all over again.

I reacted well to the dose my RE prescribed (100mg) and had one dominant follicle at 18mm and several others in the 14, 13, 12 and 10mm range. Since my RE will allow triggering with an 18mm follicle, I triggered when she advised me to and then undertook the most obsessive activity one can possibly do; testing out a trigger shot. While it’s kind of fun, I find that you end up relying on the tests too much and eventually end up heartbroken that your tests don’t start out positive, fade to negative and then back to positive; meaning you’re pregnant (which is what happened to me the first time).
Sadly, this cycle ended up a bust…

Onto cycle two. Same drill. Ultrasound showed I was good to go, took the Clomid, got my mid-cycle scan that showed my largest follicle at 12mm. The rest of them were 11mm and smaller. They were also able to see my lining was thin and put me on Estrogen twice a day to thicken that up as well.
But, I have to say I was disappointed in the results; both for the lining and follicle size. But, my RE said given that follicles grow 1 to 2 mm per day I should trigger 4 days later, which I followed. Sadly, this cycle has not ended yet. I am now 5 days past my normal cycle length and have yet to get a full blown period…..

…to be continued.

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